‘Dancing With the Stars’ Season 19 premiere recap: The heat is on

Is it hot in Hollywood, or is it “Dancing With the Stars?” Season 19 began with 13 new stars, three new pros, Julianne Hough as a fourth judge, effervescent highs (natural and otherwise) and a public service announcement against texting and dancing. And dimples. Oh so many dimples!

Here’s how the stars aligned during night one of the season premiere event.

The last ended up first. Alfonso Ribeiro, the Broadway child star who danced with Michael Jackson in a Pepsi commercial, and the originator of the “Carlton” blew the roof off the ballroom with his hot-to-trot Jazz Age jive with Witney Carson. The producers absolutely knew what they were doing when they put the man formerly and forever known as Carlton Banks from the “Fresh Prince of Bel-Air” in the anchor spot of the season premiere. Not only did he dance his socks off, his performance factor was through the roof. No doubt when all is said and done Alfonso would have fulfilled his goal to lose a lot of weight. And perhaps Witney’s strategy to win the Mirrorball trophy will come true as well. Carrie Ann Inaba said Alfonso’s got swagger, Julianne was blown away by the musicality, Bruno Tonioli called him “the king of the night” and Len Goodman said it was “without question the best dance of the night.” Alfonso earned 9s across the board the first week out. Total: 36 out of 40.

Making her dancing debut with a resounding quack was 17-year-old Sadie Robertson of “Duck Dynasty” fame. The 17-year-old, who came from a real-life Footloose town where she’s not allowed to dance at her school showed off some serious dancing chops in her cha cha with Mark Ballas. And the routine was age appropriate, sweet and completely charming. A “gobsmacked” Bruno said Sadie was “duckling no more – here we’ve got a bird of paradise.” Carrie Ann called her “a star in the making,” and Julianne called her “the entire package” and scored her the first 9 of the season. Total: 34.

I’ll admit, I was a little worried when Lea Thompson from “Back to the Future” broke out the cougar headgear and fully admitted to her Mrs. Robinson status under the tutelage of former Troupe member and new pro Artem Chigvintsev. This, despite her saying that what she really wanted to do was get back to her first love of dance. (She studied ballet under Baryshnikov; he called her stocky.) But their foxtrot to eHarmony theme song “Everlasting Love” charmed all the predatory feelings out of the audience and judges alike. Julianne said Lea’s “lines are spectacular,” Bruno said “the figures and quality of movement is exquisite” and Carrie Ann called the duo “a very well balanced team,” despite a tendency for Lea to stick out her bum as the routine went on. “Here’s to you, Mrs. Robinson,” Tom quipped to Lea after the routine. Indeed. Total: 32.

“DWTS” debuted another first when they coaxed out a YouTube star vlogger Bethany Mota from the front of her computer and trotted her onto the ballroom floor. The “DWTS” producers helped even out the playing field by teaming the 18-year-old with five-time champ Derek Hough and having her dance the jive to Taylor Swift’s ubiquitous “Shake It Off.” And while haters are no doubt gonna hate (hate hate hate), the judges were pleasantly surprised with the outcome. Carrie Ann called it “tight, clean, well hearsed, and so effervescent and energetic” but also told Bethany to beware of the links between the movements. Plus, “look at that dimple. That’s ridiculous,” said Derek. Total: 32.

Well, hello, Randy Couture. The six-time UFC champion and “Expendables 3” came off as dazzling and dapper and handsy during his “The Way You Look Tonight” foxtrot after being encouraged to “think soft” by pro partner Karina Smirnoff. Men wanted to be him (wide-eyed Jonathan Bennett looked like he just found who he wanted to be when he grew up). Women wanted to be with him: “You are sexy out there!” a weak-kneed Carrie Ann exclaimed. “The way you move is so fluid and so poetic.” Julianne said Randy was making her randy. “There’s a sensitive beauty about you that you don’t find that often, “ the judge said. “You are the epitome of a man and that is the kind of man I want in my life.” (“You realize you hit on three guys tonight,” Tom pointed out.) Karina could not keep from “squee”-ing with joy. Total: 31.

Actor Jonathan Bennett was teamed with new pro and “SYTYCD” all-star Allison Holker. And the “Mean Girls” actor already won heart points when he revealed he decided to do this show for his “DWTS” watching father who passed away two months before. After his father had died Jonathan “felt the spark inside was gone.” But dancing “already I feel better.” And his jive was adorable -- effervescent like soda and sweet as pie. The judges said Jonathan was a natural, polished performer and Len said he’s got “great potential.” Maybe he had toked from whatever Tommy Chong was having, but Jonathan was absolutely on high on life. “That was the most fun I’ve had in my whole life,” he exclaimed. Total: 30.

Actress Janel Parrish, best known as Mona from “Pretty Little Liars” was teamed with Val Chmerkovskiy. She loved Val’s pecs and abs. Val told her she has the swag of his grandmother and wanted an awesome blossom. Tom said, “the blossoming has already begun” after their jailbait of a jive set to Ariana Grande’s “Bang Bang.” Julianne called Janel “100% a performer … it is sharp it is raw it is sexy it is fierce. You know how to work it” though they all agreed the kicks and flicks were, as Len said, “a little bit untidy.” It also was the moment “that grandma swag became a good thing,” Tom remarked. Total: 29.

Talk show host Tavis Smiley broke out of his serious guy persona to do “one last silly thing” before he turned 50. Kudos to Sharna Burgess for finding a lighter side underneath all that sobriety and for wearing an elegant dress on top of a poofy pink loofah during a “Pride and Joy” foxtrot. And it was great seeing Tavis having so much fun on the dance floor. For Julianne, that routine earned Tavis a “Z-snap … that was so you.” Carrie Ann called Tavis so natural and “so likable.” “People know the some of us, but not the sum of us,” Tavis explained. “All of us have some more ‘some’ to show.” Total: 29.

Tommy Chong was flying high. The “most interesting stoner in the world” decided to do “DWTS” because of a bet he made with his bong-toting buddy Cheech Marin. Cheech came out in support of his pal by driving his friend to his routine with Peta Murgatroyd (in a hemp green outfit that I believe is still illegal in most states). The judges all got a contact high from Chong dropping it like it’s hot. Julianne’s older man attraction was activated and she called him “extremely sexy” with “moves like nobody’s business.” Carrie Ann said he “came in like a low rider … did a few ‘pop pops’ and you killed it!” “I’m really good at doing whatever beautiful women tell me to do,” Chong shrugged to Erin Andrews. Put that in your pipe and smoke it. Total: 27.

Antonio Sabato Jr., who looks like he hasn’t aged a day or lost a rippling ab muscle since his Calvin Klein underwear modeling heyday, performed first with his (super lucky) partner Cheryl Burke. The “General Hospital” actor was a bit flat-footed, though Julianne liked his extension and Bruno, ever the master of double entendres, said he was “bulging in all the right places.” But who can notice the ball-heel movement when there are those dimples to get lost in? Total: 25.

Two-time Daytona 500 champ Michael Waltrip may be a little long in the tooth and a bit rhythmically challenged, but he more than makes up for it with his Southern charm. Love this guy’s one-liners, from fully admitting “I’ve got a pretty nice ass for an old guy” to likening British partner Emma Slater’s back story to “a pair of cats rassling to get out of a plastic bag.” Though Len accused the NASCAR legend of having “the engine was running but you never got out of first gear. Gotta relax and enjoy the ride.” To his defense, Michael revealed “this uniform is very challenging for me,” he said. “I’m just really tight in places I’m not used to.” Pit stop! Total: 25.

Athlete Lolo Jones had some sort of technical malfunction with a text (“The dangers of texting and dancing have been proven,” Tom said soberly in a pitch-perfect quip) that apparently kept her from doing her cha cha walks. The two-time Olympic hurdler and one-time Olympic bobsledder, who is saving herself for marriage, kind of plodded through her cha cha with new pro Keo Motsepe before getting some sort of groove back at the end of the routine. To me, it sounded like Lolo had more excuses than steps, but the judges were kind to the clearly upset (and intense) Jones. Total: 22.

Lolo could take some recovery pointers from Betsey Johnson, who handled her wardrobe malfunction like a pro. The 72-year-old(!) fashion designer and singular sensation had a “Material Girl” cha cha with Tony Dovolani that was utterly charming and on point until a pink boa suffered stage fright and refused to participate in the routine. So she ended it with her signature cartwheel into the splits instead. “Girl, you are flexible!” Julianne exclaimed. “You had some really wonderful moments in that.” It was “so entertaining, and then the disaster with the boa,” Len said sadly. “I’m crushed.” But what was up with those criminally low five scores? Up until the wardrobe malfunction Betsey was selling that routine and the audience was clearly lapping it up. Total: 20.

What do you think, ballroom fans? Think Betsey Johnson was unfairly scored? More importantly, should she end all her routines with a cartwheel and splits? Was it too early to break out those 9s? Who do you have pegged to win the Mirrorball trophy this season? Whither Tristan?!