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Five reasons Rihanna should replace Amy Schumer in the new Barbie movie

Rihanna would be the perfect choice to replace Amy Schumer in the upcoming Barbie movie. (Kirk McKoy / Los Angeles Times)
(Kirk McKoy / Los Angeles Times)
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Amy Schumer told Variety on Thursday that scheduling conflicts prevent her from playing Barbie on the big screen. That means the live-action film is now missing a key component: its star.

With Schumer out as the lead of Sony’s upcoming movie, slated for release next year, who could possibly fill the tiny plastic shoes of the greatest fashion icon of all time?

We have an idea.

The new film will center on a character deemed not perfect enough who is kicked out of Barbieland and heads out for adventure in the real world. So why don’t Sony and Mattel make a bold move and go even more unconventional than the Barbie-ish Schumer and opt instead for a modern red-carpet icon and multi-faceted professional badass?

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Paging Rihanna.

Sound crazy? It makes more sense than you’d think. Here are five reasons why Rihanna, the great pop star, is the perfect choice to be the Barbie girl of a new generation.

She’s an actress

At this point in her illustrious career, the 29-year-old Barbadian singer has started to dabble in acting, doing a stint as Marion Crane on A&E’s “Psycho” series, “Bates Motel,” as well as roles in the upcoming films “Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets” and “Ocean’s Eight.”

The next logical step is to have RiRi fronting her own movie, obviously.

She has tons of jobs

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Yes, Rihanna is branching out into acting. But she’s also had 14 No. 1 singles on the Billboard Hot 100 chart and won eight Grammys. In 2015 she became the first black woman to be the face of Dior. And earlier this month she premiered her Fenty Puma fashion collection at Paris Fashion week.

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Actress? Singer? Model? Fashion designer?

Rihanna boasts a resumé that only Barbie could rival.

Humanitarian? Yep, she’s that too

In February, Rihanna was honored with Harvard’s 2017 Humanitarian of the Year award. In 2012, the singer created the Clara Lionel Foundation in honor of her grandparents, which raises funds for impoverished communities worldwide.

Barbie has never been honored for her humanitarian efforts, so this maybe this makes Rihanna overqualified for the role, but all the more reason she’d bring character and empathy to the job.

She’s a fashion goddess

Rihanna at the second annual Clara Lionel Foundation ball in 2015. (Christopher Polk / Getty Images)
(Christopher Polk / Getty Images)

Look, words aren’t going to sufficiently express how mind-blowing Rihanna’s wardrobe is, but suffice it to say that Barbie would be gagging with jealousy over these looks.

Check the pics.

From the 2017 Grammys. These accessories are to die for. (Marcus Yam / Los Angeles Times)
(Marcus Yam / Los Angeles Times)
A 2016 look. (Andy Kropa / Invision / Associated Press)
(Andy Kropa / Invision / AP)
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At Fashion Week in 2015 (Thibault Camus / Associated Press)
(Thibault Camus / Associated Press)
At the 2015 Met Gala. (Larry Busacca / Getty Images)
(Larry Busacca / Getty Images)
On the 2015 Grammys red carpet. (Jordan Strauss / Invision / AP)
(Jordan Strauss / Invision / AP)

Okay, that last one is basically an audition for Barbie if ever we’ve seen one.

But, perhaps the most important aspect of the “Rihanna 4 Barbie” campaign is this:

Children love her

How are you gonna have a Barbie that kids don’t love? You aren’t. Rihanna is the right woman for the job, Sony. She’s even kid-tested, Blue Ivy-approved.

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libby.hill@latimes.com

@midwestspitfire

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